


Back Again

by AlexMercer125



Category: Bleach
Genre: Angst, Arrancar, He needs to chill, Hollow - Freeform, Ichigo-centric, M/M, Slow Burn, Vasto Lorde
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-10-04
Updated: 2017-03-14
Packaged: 2017-12-28 10:05:10
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,271
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/990742
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlexMercer125/pseuds/AlexMercer125
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ichigo Kurosaki thought his life would be relatively normal once he lost his powers, and it has. Until, he started suffering from headaches, blackouts, and the feeling that someone was watching him. When he finds out his only salvation is to find one of the surviving Espada- well, his life isn't so normal as he had hoped.</p><p>Was originally posted on Fanfiction.net as 'Back Again' under my other alias Jessk13.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. King

Ichigo sighed and buried his head into his hands in a futile effort to block the blinding headache that had been pestering him for almost a week.

He didn't know what was causing it- it couldn't be stress, now that he wasn't hunting hollows he had a hell of a lot of time to relax-and it was really beginning to worry him. Sometimes it would sound like there was someone talking to him but there was never anyone around. With his luck it could be that the clown freak or Kiskue did an 'upgrade' on his head and he was about to sprout fucking wings from his ears or some other humiliating and pointless thing.

The Orange-ette couldn't help but snort softly at the ridiculousness of his thoughts even if it was completely possible if those two got bored enough. However he instantly regretted his quick outburst of mirth for two reasons. Reason one: It sent a jolt of pain through his entire head that actually managed to make him gasp. And reason two: Ichigo's very quiet snort somehow managed to capture his Sensei's attention from the very back of the room.

Fuck.

"Kurosaki-kun, would you care to explain to the rest of the class what is so amusing you just had to interrupt my lesson?" His Sensei glared over his glasses and slowly placed the book he had been lecturing from onto the desk closest to him, which just so happened to be a very terrified young girl closest to the board.

Lifting his head from from his hands he opened his mouth to apologise, but a feeling of unease suddenly shot through his body and he clamped it shut. On instinct got out of his desk and stood ram rod straight as this feeling continued to make him feel like creating the world's most secure vault and crawling into it. Ichigo scanned the room quickly and the feeling seemed to drain from him as quickly as it had came.

Realizing he was standing in the middle of his class and hadn't apologized to his Sensei yet he bowed and replied that it wouldn't happen again. He slid back into his desk and resumed writing down the notes from the black board, squinting slightly as he forced his eyes to focus through the increase of pain caused by white fluorescent light. Sensei just gave a disproving 'hmph' and continued his lecturing.

He mentally sighed in relief (his science block was always the most strict-he didn't want to to take the chance of pissing his teacher off anymore). Every since the defeat of Aizen and the subsequent loss of his powers the only action he saw anymore was mainly fighting with his father or school. He could readily admit that he missed his hold life but at the same time he was relieved the war was over. Whatever, his head hurt to much to think about this anymore.

Resuming his previous position of holding his head after finishing his notes, he closed his eyes to play the waiting game.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Kurosaki."

Ichigo rubbed his eyes and opened them, looking up to find an impatient looking Uryu staring down at him. "Lets go, don't forget to give Sensei your notes." Turning on his heel, the Quincy left the room quickly.

He stood and bent down to sign his name on the top of his notes without really paying attention, and walked to his Sensei's desk. The orange-ette absently placed it on the corner and began walking to the door casually stretching as he went.

"Kurosaki, It's wonderful to see you have such wonderful...self confidence in yourself, but this is not an acceptable signature."

Ichigo turned around and confusedly walked back to the desk. Reaching down and snatching the paper from the desk he roamed his eyes over the hastily written notes and found where he had written his signature.

What he saw made his blood run cold.

On the paper, in the top right hand corner not written in his hand writing, were the words 'King'.


	2. Drowning

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for not uploading sooner but after I posted the first chapter shit pretty much hit the fan over on my side of the screen so... yeah. Now I’m back. I'm going to post a quick chapter right now, to let you know this story is alive, for you all (which is actually a surprising amount) and then I will disappear for a short while to get you all much longer chapters with juicier content. I have a small outline of what is going to happen, which will get me through the first third of the story so updates shouldn't take too long.

“Kurosaki. Hey!”

Ichigo continued walking down the street, ducking his head slightly even though he knew there was no point in even attempting to hide, not with his hair color and height.

“Kurosaki!”

He should've known that Uryu would follow him after that little outburst. He should be touched, or even smug, that the Quincy was obviously concerned enough with his welfare to hunt him down after school hours. Yet, all he really felt at that moment was an extreme annoyance. Walking faster, a scowl crept its way across his face.

“Dammit, Ichigo! I know you can hear me! Stop walking already.”

Nostrils flaring, Ichigo spun on his heel to stare at his unwanted, and rather irate, companion. Uryu stood only a few yards away. His typical ramrod straight posture was as straight-backed as usual with the only indication of his shout being his scrunched eyes. Ichigo noticed for the first time with a sick sense of amusement that the Quincy looked as if someone had shoved a large stick up his ass.

Covering his amusement with a low scoff, he ground out a quiet “What.”

Ishida looked at him like he was the most ridiculous thing on the planet Earth, which only seemed to fuel his anger even more. He threw his arms out into the air, cocked his head back and groaned audibly. “Why are you looking at me like that, what do you want Ishida?”

Uryu's face fell into his typical blank expression, his eyes, however, turned cold. Ichigo wondered idly what he could have done to offended the obviously reproachful Quincy. Since the end of the war, their friendship hadn't wavered, even if their conversations led into the subject of Uryu's nightly activities of Hollow hunting. Sometimes Ichigo honestly did not want to bring up his loss of usefulness, or specifically, he didn't want to bring up his friend's usefulness. Selfish and childish, he knew, but he just couldn't help it. 

When he didn't get a response, he shook his head and turned away, beginning the trek back home once again. This time he wasn't stopped.  
__________________________________________________________

No matter how hard he stared at the ceiling, the swirls never changed. He'd been like this since coming home from school, staring as if the ceiling would come alive and tell him what to do. Which, with everything that had happened in his life he wouldn't be surprised at this point. In fact, at the moment he'd probably welcome it. 

He didn't know what to do.

To be fair, he could've imagined the whole situation, or maybe he drifted off during class again, or maybe-

Maybe he was back. 

Which shouldn't be possible anymore, he had given up 'everything' that day. Absolutely everything. He didn't even want any of it anymore, he'd adapted to being normal for once in his life. He was enjoying it. 

Yet a poisonous voice whispered in his ear, spinning tangled webs of truth and lies- he'd give anything to have it all back, anything to be useful again, to have a purpose instead of...he wasn't even sure. He was existing but it all felt hollow. Ichigo snorted slightly at the accidental pun.

So there he lay, spiraling in his thoughts, everything just repeating in an endless cycle of confusion and self-loathing. He wasn't even sure what time it was, he guessed maybe one in the morning. He felt a stab of guilt, knowing Karin and Yuzu were probably concerned at his behavior. Well, maybe not Karin, she was too used to his moods, but Yuzu would worry. 

His sisters had been almost careful with how they handled him after that day, as if they expected him to fall apart or snap. (Which, to be honest, wasn't that far off of how he felt most days). But still. 

He groaned and ground the palms of his hands into his eyes. He really was a terrible brother. 

Ichigo knew he wasn't getting any sleep tonight, and decided that he might as well study for his next class. He might as well try to learn something since he was pretty sure his teacher was going to write him off after today's class. 

Naturally he fell asleep three questions in.  
___________________________________________________________

He wasn't sure where he was when he opened his eyes, it was dark, and the surrounding area was covered in a thick fog. His breath was coming out in a mist yet he didn't feel anything, the sensation of the sand between his fingers registered in his brain in a detached sort of way. He felt separated from his body and...wait. 

Sand? 

It was then he realized he was half buried in white sand, his legs completely submerged, the only thing being completely free was his head. Oddly enough he remembered going to the beach with his sisters and allowing them to give him a 'fish' tail while he reclined in the sun. He laughed a little to himself, still feeling strange but couldn't bring himself to care. 

He figured he out to try to stand up, however, and attempted to do just that. Yet when he kicked out his legs to pull them from the sand- he couldn't. He tried to same with his arms and felt the sand 'grip' at the skin and, and-

Sensation came back in a rush, and he realized that the sand was dragging him further down, submerging him further. Adrenaline flooded his system as he kicked and flailed and cursed. 

Ichigo didn't know why he was so terrified in that instant, but he was sure it was because he knew how frightening human he was at that moment. What would even happen to him if he died? No one ever told him what he should expect and honestly how would they know? He was a freak-

He cried out as the sand finally sucked him completely into the darkness, and he felt it run down his throat choking him as he clawed up and up and up, but it was no use because he felt the sand ripping him apart in all directions, absorbing his worthless, infuriatingly human body, but he kept screaming because he was still drowning, still dying and why wasn't he dead yet?

Suddenly he felt something grip him, whatever was left of him, through the sand, felt himself being pulled up and up and up until his head broke the sand and he gasped for air and-

He woke up. 

For a moment he lay there, breaths shuddering out of his lungs as he tried to understand that he was okay, he wasn't falling apart and drowning and dying. 

Then he retched on the floor beside his bed and swore he felt the phantom sensation of a hand on his, and a whisper of reassurance in his ear.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for sticking around for so long, and welcome to any new readers. I'd appreciate any feedback ya'll feel like dropping. Have a wonderful day!


	3. This is Fine (It Isn't)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ichigo does what he does best, angst.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: Hey everybody! Fast chapter for you all, at least at my standards.
> 
> I believe it needs to be said that it is been a few years since I've read/watched the anime and manga, so there are going to be discrepancies to canon. Not to mention I stopped shortly after Ichigo's fight with Ulquiorra and only really skimmed summaries of what happened after that with the final fight with Aizen etc. Long story short, this story isn't going to be completely based on canon.
> 
> I did work hard on this chapter, I hope you like it! Also, thank you all so much for the feedback, it means so much.

Waking up the next morning was awful.

He had somehow managed to fall asleep again after his nightmare, face down on top of his blankets, which wasn't necessarily a bad thing.

What put him in a bad mood was the fact that he was ninety-five percent sure he vomited (and the taste in his mouth attested to it) but he couldn't find it anywhere. The only other indication he hadn't been imagining the whole incident was the smell of cleaner lingering in the air. Which usually meant Yuzu, but his door was still locked from the night previous. So either the vomiting was a part of the nightmare or there were gaps in his memory.

Of course, he could rationalize it if he wanted to. Most people didn't remember getting up at night to use the restroom or to grab a snack. His sisters were pretty big examples of that, with how often he caught them during a late night studying (or hunting, an unhelpful voice piped up in the back of his mind) wandering the house and not remembering what was said the next morning. He did remember the absolute raw fear he felt waking up, it's possible he was so shaken up he cleaned on autopilot and collapsed.

Usually, he would accept this conclusion, he was tempted to even now. But with what happened yesterday in class-

Wait.

What did happen in class yesterday?

He remembers falling asleep, maybe. Being reprimanded by his teacher, definitely. There was something wrong with his paper, and Uryu got mad at him. He remembered being angry with him too. Did Uryu help him study for it or something? Was he disappointed? He didn't think so but his inability to remember was dragging the panic he felt last night back up his throat and he felt like gagging again.

Gaps in his memory meant, him. Usually. Most of the time. The downside of having a raving lunatic bouncing around in one's mind. But he was gone now, gone forever and there wasn't anything he could- no- wanted to do about it. He had a normal life now.

Maybe these little gaps were caused by stress, he did have a lot of work to do still to catch up on everything he missed when he was traipsing around as a Soul Reaper. Or it could be any number of strange things that could possibly pop up in his life, the gods knew he was a magnet for it even before the whole Soul Reaper thing. He could be finally losing his mind, to be honest.

He ground his palms into his eyes and groaned.

The problem was that it could just be so many different things he couldn't guess. And he didn't really have any resources at his back anymore. (Why would he, it's not like they'd waste their time with someone who could contribute-)

Stop.

He wasn't going down this rabbit hole anymore.

He was at peace with everything that had happened, this was fine.

Ichigo gripped his hair in his fists and breathed deeply for a moment before launching himself off his bed and towards the door. He'd already wasted enough time dwelling, he was just stressed.

Everything would be fine.  
____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Very quickly Ichigo realized everything would not be, in fact, fine. It wouldn't be okay, it wasn't alright, nothing. Today was going to be awful through and through.

First, his father was more exuberant than usual. Enough said there. Then, when he left the clinic to go to class, Uryu wasn't there which meant he was fighting something (that usually only caused a small flare of 'something' most days but today felt devastating). Next on his "Shit Day" list was the small instance of his teacher giving out a surprise quiz on the lecture from the day before- which he couldn't remember. It didn't help that the whole day his head was determined on either beating staccato beat behind his eyes, or spinning the room around him.

Putting it simply, a bad day.

At the end of a very boring (lonely) lunch hour, he decided he simply didn't care to go back to class, gathered his things and left. His absence would be noticed of course- he stuck out like a sore thumb- but he had honestly reached his quota of shitty things that he could possibly handle happening today. Perhaps he'd get lucky and run into a group of idiots who didn't know better for a good brawl. Anything to relieve this...this anxiousness itching under his skin. It's not like his head could hurt anymore, anyway.

With that idea taking hold, he began drifting away from the main roads, wandering down side streets and alleyways, only actively changing course when he started to recognize an area close to home. He was thankful for the one small mercy he was allowed today- it was heavily overcast allowing him to do a bit more than squint at his surroundings.

He'd been walking for about thirty or so minutes when he started to notice something strange. Shadows were dancing along the edges of his vision, disappearing once he snapped his attention to them. For a while he had figured perhaps it was the clouds shifting in the sky, maybe small gaps of sun were finally breaking through. But every time he looked up, the sky was just a giant expanse of gray for as far as he could see.

While he was unsettled, he chalked it up to his migraine and kept walking. (He wondered idly when he had taken Karin's place as master of denial).

It was only when the whispers began that he actually grew...concerned.

They were quiet, just barely heard phrases he couldn't quite make out. He wasn't even sure if he was hearing them, since the moment he stopped walking to listen they disappeared along with the shadows. So he kept walking, hoping to find a street he recognized so he could get home, take some obviously, desperately needed medicine and pass out until this (fever?) passed.

A stray thought occurred to him, that maybe this was 'him' making his presence known again, but he promptly shoved the idea back in the gutter where it belonged to be dealt with at another time.

Ichigo was about to pull his phone out of his pocket to pull up his GPS (he really had gotten himself lost in his attempt to well, get lost) when he saw a figure in a white robe dart down an alleyway up ahead of him. Without a thought, he bolted after the figure, whipping around the corner in an attempt to catch whatever (whoever) it was.

He stopped short.

Standing in the alley Orihime and Uryu, in their school uniforms, wiping dirt off of their clothes and grabbing their bags. In other words, very obviously just coming back from a hunt or some sort. No sign of a white-robed figure anywhere.

He couldn't help the small sound of disappointment that escaped him in that moment, and Orihime whipped around, startled.

Seeing him, she smiled as if it was the most natural thing in the world for him to have randomly appeared in the same place she was. Which, to be fair, it used to be. Sick with the thought, he didn't smile back.

"Oh! Ichigo! Hi!" She simpered. To most males his age, her smile would've been everything in that moment, but he just felt empty. "We just got back from, uh, well...you know." She looked awkward now, and Ichigo found it a little easier to breathe once his annoyance flared up.

Oh, she needed a response. "Uh, right." He grunted out, bobbing his head a little.

Her smile returned and looked to Uryu, who had just fixed Ichigo with this blank look during their exchange. Ichigo felt his annoyance bubble back into anger when he met his eyes, but not knowing why he schooled his expression and didn't say anything. Orihime seemed to sense the tension building and just looked back and forth from the two men.

Something changed in Uryu's expression, as if he had found what he was looking for in Ichigo's face and opened his mouth to speak.

"I-"

"I have to go." Ichigo cut him off, not knowing why he had to go so quickly, just that he did. Something felt wrong here, there was something wrong with how he felt in this moment, he should be happy to see his friendswhydidhefeelsick-

He spun on his heel and darted down the street before they could call his name.

It wouldn't be until later he would realize that while he was talking to them his head had stopped pounding, and the shadows had faded from his vision.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little bit of a longer chapter for ya'll this time! Yay! Haha, but seriously thank you so much for reading and leaving behind feedback. It means so much to me to hear any sort of feedback from you all, so thank you! I would love to hear your thoughts on this chapter, if you have the time.
> 
> Also, this chapter is a little basic, but it's necessary to build up to the main plot. But yeah, I know, a lot of Ichigo angst lol. More things are coming soon! :)


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